sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
