Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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