well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
