Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
