dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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