So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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