i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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