I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
