I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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