What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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