I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
