she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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