You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
