She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
