I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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