When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize