Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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