She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
