I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
