'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize