like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i out mim tonsoeep
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
