i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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