Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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