I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
