Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
