This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
