woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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