i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
