I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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