So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
