I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is Oprah even human
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize