3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
