I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think my fart just growled at me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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