There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
