does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
