He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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