I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
