whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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