He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
