I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
