so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
