I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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