dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
