There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Alive.
So much puke
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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