I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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