Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
