Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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