sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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