My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize