I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Two words: nipple clamps
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