its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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