Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
