i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
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Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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