I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
