i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
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Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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