the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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