I hate your face
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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