Im at strip club and am horny
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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