I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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