I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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