We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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