i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
