first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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