im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
